Saturday, July 31, 2004

Birthday song ...

My birth the I in me does not remember
That I that was born wiht the looks of innocence

Its path was soon to be plagued by troubles
and invisible webs were to be weaved by spiders
Not long after, it learnt it was heir to despair
Carried on the frightening shoulders of angry tornados
It struck its head against clouds of pain and sorrow
How many billions of persons had life cheated?
And this I was yet to build new kingdoms
Whose walls, alas, were prone to decay
Raising to the ground all that was built laboriously

But one day, on the rising waves of distant dreams
At the inevitable meeting point of life and death
The I will have unravelled the mystery
Of all that lies coiled in the shell of I

--- Yup its my birthday today :)

Thursday, July 29, 2004

The Criminal

Have been reading Gibran lately. His book Tears and Laughter is awesome. i am copying a reading here.

A young man of strong body, weakened by hunger, sat on the walker's   portion of the street stretching his hand toward all who passed,   begging and repeating his hand toward all who passed, begging   and repeating the sad song of his defeat in life, while suffering   from hunger and from humiliation.     
When night came, his lips and tongue were parched, while his   hand was still as empty as his stomach.     
He gathered himself and went out from the city, where he sat   under a tree and wept bitterly. Then he lifted his puzzled   eyes to heaven while hunger was eating his inside, and he   said, "Oh Lord, I went to the rich man and asked for employment,   but he turned me away because of my shabbiness; I knocked at   the school door, but was forbidden solace because I was empty-   handed; I sought any occupation that would give me bread, but   all to no avail. In desperation I asked alms, but They worshippers   saw me and said "He is strong and lazy, and he should not beg."      "Oh Lord, it is Thy will that my mother gave birth unto me, and   now the earth offers me back to You before the Ending."     
His expression then changed. He arose and his eyes now glittered   in determination. He fashioned a thick and heavy stick from the   branch of the tree, and pointed it toward the city, shouting,   "I asked for bread with all the strength of my voice, and   was refused. Not I shall obtain it by the strength of my muscles!   I asked for bread in the name of mercy and love, but humanity   did not heed. I shall take it now in the name of evil!"     
The passing years rendered the youth a robber, killer and   destroyer of souls; he crushed all who opposed him; he amassed   fabulous wealth with which he won himself over to those in power.   He was admired by colleagues, envied by other thieves, and feared   by the multitudes.     
His riches and false position prevailed upon the Emir to appoint   him deputy in that city - the sad process pursued by unwise   governors. Thefts were then legalized; oppression was supported   by authority; crushing of the weak became commonplace; the   throngs curried and praised.     
Thus does the first touch of humanity's selfishness make   criminals of the humble, and make killers of the sons of peace;   thus does the early greed of humanity grow and strike back at   humanity a thousand fold!

Saturday, July 24, 2004

That funny sad guy

Some one told me once that a person's life is not just his own. All the people in the world contribute to one's life. Throughout my life, so far, I have uncovered that not you but the people around you decide what you are going to be or going to do. The people around you mold you into the person of their choice. Sometimes they can’t mold you but because of their effect on you, you become something else. A very good example of this case is Rizwi. But it is always the people around you.

I met the funny sad guy when I was working at the shop. A couple of weeks back. Saad asked me how can be a person funny and sad at the same time. So lets define funny. Funny is something that amuses you. Not the person but you so the person doesn’t have to be happy to be funny. Like a comedian, he doesn’t have to be happy to perform. He doesn’t even have to be happy after getting the check for that performance, but that’s a separate story. Hence its proved the a person don’t have to happy for being funny.

Some people are sad and they behave in such a manner in that state of sadness or tension that they appear funny to us. Like the car salesman in "FARGO" who planned the kidnapping of his own wife. There was nothing comic about the character and the person was really under a lot of dispersion but it appeared funny, at least to me.

The person I met was funny coz of his nature. He likes to have people smiling around him. Sad coz he has nothing and he wants nothing. I couldn't understand him myself. He always wears a pretty welcoming smile on his face but I was never able to find the glow of life in his eyes.

Last time I met him he was planning to go back to Ireland. I think he has left. Once I asked him about his hobbies and stuff. He first laughed and then replied. Eshtee you know what, the worst part of being poor is that you don’t have time for anything else. Funny isn’t it (sigh)...

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Here and back again

Back from the dead. I think i need to blog a bit more. nothing special happend during the last few days, apart from i quit the BP job. well i had to do it ne way. i took an interview for Analyst/programmer vacancy at ANZ australia. The guy who took my interview called me yesteray but i was sleeping :(. will call him on monday.

I have also promissed 'Abrar' my younger brother to get him a Play station 2. He is really fond of games and i think every one else too.

lately i m feeling that the taste of food. it might be my bad cooking but i think its something else. i just cant figure out the reason to BE. All my life i have been letting go of things. Seems like its just me now. some one told me once that a persons life is the life of people around him, but one soul just cant own another soul. hahahaha. i think i have understood what that suppose to mean. I think.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

One of those dayz

Its not a good day for me thats for sure. Came back from work like 8:00 in the morning. Wendy called me and asked me not to do tonights shift because she wants abdul to do it. well its not about money nor about the shift, its about principle. its just not fair. i might not work on BP anymore. also i have to look forward to find an IT job.

Ali called. wants to know the whole story. yeah ... riiite. y does every one like to be entertained on others misseries. Sal took me to dinner. He also had a conversation with wendy about the whole situation.

well who gives a shit anyway its just an odd job. but i never enjoyed it when someone give me a high hat :(